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CINEMATRIX - by LuckyWill

 
Cinematrix is movie goer central bringing everything from the Big Screen to your screen.

"Bloodrayne" DVD Review

October 9th 2006 07:46
Bloodrayne VG logo

Bloodrayne, based on the semi-popular video game of a half human, half vampire (known as a dhampir) similarly correlates with the entire movies quality, that being, half decent and half crap. Or qualitatively the dhampir could resemble the like pronounced Australian bread – the damper – that’s also half baked to provide a soft and floury substance. Amusingly, both are good descriptions of the film.


PS2 Cover

Owing to the original idea from the video game we have “Rayne”, whose much like the protagonist from "Blade" (but from a comicbook adaption) and both are distrusted by each community of vampires and humans to set up an interesting conflict. Rayne in the video game though doesn’t have any friendship or sexual encounters with humans which is present in the film adaption and yet has also been used in the Blade films. Also of cursory semblance is the gypsy scene from where Rayne first enters the film as a sideshow act who after being wounded can gain healing properties almost straight after drinking the blood of an animal. This is also somewhat similar to the tv series “Angel”, whereby Angel is restored of his soul by gypsies. But in Bloodrayne the scene is counter-acted by her leaving her soul for a moment of instinctual hunger for blood, mercilessly killing her gypsy captors and fleeing into the wild. Of note later in the film, there’s also a few typically “Interview with the Vampire” esque scenes, featuring candle-lit palaces and auditoriums involving naked women and musing vampires, debauchery and hedonism. So what am I trying to say by all this you may ask? Well, after translating the video game to film, symbolically it provides little new value to the vampire film genre historically.

Bloodrayne cover

To its achievement and what it does have are visually striking sets and locales – from the medieval towns and town life to the European countryside and church sanctuaries. So the films imagery updates the genre in suitably picturesque terms and the costumes and habits all present pleasing representations of the time period, supposedly 14th to17th Century. Also (and for reasons unknown to Cinematrix) are the array of fairly well known actors it combines in various minute to supporting roles. TV actress Kristanna Loken plays Bloodrayne while her comrades against the vampires consist of Michael Madsen (who for some reason is taking any roles these days) and Michelle Rodriguez. Ben Kingsley (Gandhi) is the too short but evil Lord Kagan, (why couldn’t they have got him high heels to wear?) while vampire princes like Meatloaf and Billy Zane chew over their own intermediate affairs – Meatloaf in his harem of girls that IMDB reports the director Uwe Boll hired Romanian prostitutes rather than actresses cause it was cheaper (Bloodrayne, 2005) and Zane pontificating Armand-style from Interview with the Vampire.

Did something just land on my face?

Apart from the above advantages of possibly more money than sense or more promises than deliverances, the film is so hammy to the extent that it feels like an amateur dramatic company wrote it and told the actors to say your lines only after an unnecessary pause and with as little expression as possible. Even to the extent that Keanu Reeves would laugh. It’s just that off-puttingly bad. Additionally it never suspends disbelief and some character developments are never explained (like why Rayne chose to never drink blood of a human again) which only limit the motivation to keep watching other than the comforting chance you will see some of the better known ensemble appear again. So overall, like a big slab of bloody ham, (as yes, during fight scenes there is a leaping spray of blood from wounds) its wet, salty and unsatisfying. The acting is laughable, the story is negligible past the first ten minutes plus the actors involved become the only real reason to keep watching the film in its entirety.


1/1/2 starz.

Images taken from:
tothegame.com
gplay.com
wikipedia
movieweb.com
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Comments
8 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Chantal

October 10th 2006 06:12
What's with the increasing amount of video-game based movies of late?

Comment by Justin

October 10th 2006 14:33
Hi Chantal,

To be blunt; I'd say it's a lack of creativity in the film industry and relying on a target audience of a pre-arranged demographic (from the game) with a relatively proven track record of interest that may correlate with film sales.

It's not necessarily a bad thing as opening up film to a range of intertextual mediums is a good idea for example comic book, novel, music and art adaptions has sometimes proved fruitful, yet with video games it's still very hit and miss.

Comment by Jimbo

October 11th 2006 00:49
I blame it on Uwe Boll and his increasingly ambitious inability to make a good movie. He's a horrible director, and with a total lack of any humane social skills, he resorts to facing his critics in a boxing ring. I hate Uwe and all he stands for.

That's right, Uwe, I've said - I'll meet you in the boxing ring tonight at 8!

Comment by Justin

October 11th 2006 03:49
Haha, Jimbo vs Uwe Boll!
Llllllllll-lets get reeeaaaaady toooo ruuummmmmmbllllle.

I think it's his reserve of particuarly choosing video games that gets him the accessiblity to keep doing what he's doing, as bad as it is. But aside, why are actors of this calibre acting in his films? Is Michelle Rodriguez a glutton for punishment, starring in Resident Evil and then this?

More scary is the reported interest of Kristanna Loken and Uwe Boll to make a sequel to Bloodrayne. When will the unintentional horror stop!?

Comment by Adrienne

October 11th 2006 14:36
I hear Lindsay Lohan wants to do an action film a la Tomb Raider....thoughts?

Comment by Cibbuano

October 11th 2006 22:20
They should make a comic book based on these terrible movies - then make a video game based on the comic based on the movie based on the game.

Then the circle of life will be complete.

Comment by Justin

October 12th 2006 06:37
Hey Adrienne,

As far as action films go, her life plays out as one, but to diversify her "career" she should probably look to something more mature, like an action film, for reasons of longevity past her 'famous for being famous' lifestyle.

Though I hope she doesn't.

Comment by Justin

October 12th 2006 06:41
Hey Cibbs,

Hah, you're right. Still Uwe Boll would want to meddle with its creation though. He must be taken out, by any means possible. Any means.

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