LuckyWillTWILIGHT ECLIPSE - Dracula's Leg
July 21st 2010 02:39
Oh my god, never in the long and illustrious blood-sucking history of cinematic vampiredom did I think this moment would come. Not since those pioneering days when the ghastly old Count Dracula first bore his jagged bright red fangs to the eyes of his horrified victims, invoking in them a fear from the far reaches of their soul they never knew existed only to be manifested in the form of an ear-piercing scream.
With the release of the latest Twilight film, Eclipse, audiences that were once torn between team Jacob and team Edward must fast be realising that one has a decisive edge in this battle. For those unfamiliar with the story so far it’s pretty easy to catch you up. Bella (Kristen Stewart) is a young teen who lives in a small town in the sticks with her father. She soon finds herself caught up in a love triangle between a strikingly handsome, centuries old, pasty white Vampire named Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and her hulking native American Werewolf family friend, Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner). She loves them both but she thinks she loves Edward more and, strangely enough, the two men hate each other. That’s about 5 hours worth of the saga in a nutshell.
In this third instalment, crunch time is approaching as Bella nears graduation and hence, the time she has chosen to turn Vamp. You see the only way she can really be with Edward is to turn into a vampire herself because otherwise she’ll just get old and he’ll either get sick of her and leave or kill her during sex. There is, of course, an alternative and the film serves up ample warning to Bella that she would be best to consider all options before diving in. That other option is Jacob, or “eye candy” to many female viewers, as he spends the majority of the film topless and for good reason. The guy has a stack of muscles that would stretch a circus tent and he does his best to woo the lovely Bella away from the dark side. You have to feel for the guy. He is understandably frustrated by the repeated rejection of his advances toward Bella who flies in the face of all logic and reason, as teenagers do, to be with Edward instead. On one hand she can have a life with her family and friends and a perpetually muscular boy toy. Or she can throw it all away, including her soul, and live in exile with her anaemic, undead husband.
Kids, right? They never listen.
The driving threat of the film is a host of strange killings in Seattle and the whisper of a vampire army rising in the streets. With Bella’s safety in jeopardy, the warring tribes of Cullen’s and Werewolves must set aside their differences and stand together against this new force if they are any hope of surviving it.
The film itself isn’t altogether terrible. It feels very long and some of the background graphics are, quite obviously, fake but the story keeps plodding along. The fights aren’t too bad and the developing story between the Cullens and the Werewolves are interesting to watch. The Jacob character is actually quite funny and as I gauged from the reaction of my fiancé, his topless exploits never grow old. However it is during the moments between Edward and Bella which, unfortunately, there are quite a few of, that the film really seems to slow down. They’re in love; she wants to turn vamp but he doesn’t want her to; they are so different but they are still in love; we get it, we got it in the first film and still got it in the 2nd yet the producers feel the need to reiterate again and again in the 3rd.
I know Ed and Bel are the driving force of the film but they are far from the most interesting part of it. The best parts of the film are actually the interactions between the two warring families and the only times I laugh was when the Jacob character was on screen. If you cut back on Edward and add more of everything, change that, ANYTHING else then the film would have been a lot better. It just seems so long.
So I guess it would appear that, despite not really getting into the saga as much as others, I find myself leaning toward team Jacob. The cool factor definitely goes to the Werewolves. In this saga they are unchanged and, if anything, an improvement on the mythical beasts of legend. They are stronger in both human and wolf form and larger than most films have depicted them. The Vampires, however have taken a turn for the worst. They are still strong and fast, sure, but no longer do they fly, they run. There are no coffins, garlic, or wooden stakes and their reason for hunting in the shadows no longer stems from a fear of death and disintegration when the UV rays touch their skin; it’s because they sparkle and they don’t like it. They are probably embarrassed as well they should be; sparkling vampires. This is Dracula’s legacy.
Rating 2.5 Sparkling Cullens/5
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